Outgoing Men’s Captain’s Send Off Poem - A Year in the Life of a Captain
It’s been a year since that fateful drive-in, and it’s good to see the club is thriving. After a winter of weather windy & wet the lack of rain became our biggest threat.
That winter was harsh to say the least and let us not forget the Beast from the East. I invested in my first set of golfing mittens and my plums were shrunk to the size of a kittens.
The Men’s vs the Seniors was played in driving snow, we could have cancelled but decided to give it a go. The light started to fade, it couldn’t have been dimmer but we were determined to bash every visible Zimmer.
Some managed six holes, but the hardy did nine the match was ended with the Men doing just fine Roger, it’s called a win if you’re miles ahead victory was certain from the amount that we led.
If one Beast wasn’t enough to dampen our spirits number two pushed hardiness out to the limits now the ladies enjoyed their Thursday endeavour with fairways a frozen, their shots ran on forever.
Just when we thought we lived in a freezer, spring arrived as a bit of a teaser. The greens were green, and the fairways were lush, the songbirds returned from their miserable hush.
For about three weeks, the course was blooming. We had no idea that trouble was looming, suddenly the course was drier, of that there’s no doubt it had turned to summer and the Bletchingley drought.
Steve looked forlorn with his broken pump, then the failed Quadrop gave him the hump. There were problems galore with no reprieve hence his nick-name became Sahara Steve.
We played round after round in glorious sun, wow, did the ball just run and run. I had to load my bag with balls and tees, the tees got broken and balls snuck off into the trees.
The matches went well, our best was done, we certainly loss less than the matches we won. In the knockout Debbie gained a passion for trees I put her in many with incredible ease.
The members were insatiable in search of fun. There are too many to mention one by one, a few deserved a mention so here I go; McGillivray’s 7 points was a season low.
Mike Everton spent a year in provisional mode, it earned him the nickname of Mr. Reload. Mark took on Pauline in a handicap race, a positive start turned to egg on his face.
Ricky and Adrian said good-bye to their knees but recovered to form with unbelievable ease. Viv spent the season straight down the middle and buying our supplies in her favourite shop, Lidl.
She appeared as the Queen and Teresa May and did up the hut for our Captain’s Day. All the men stopped and doffed their caps as she poured the bubbly and offered her baps.
I mustn’t forget the ladies amazing walk; the North Downs way was all the talk, they raised more money on every day for the unfortunate kids at ES YMCA.
The Charity Day came and went so fast, it looked like everyone had a bit of a blast. Two girls in a buggy would regularly appear, to top up the players with softies or beer.
The Festival of Golf came down to margins slim, our champion again was a bloke called Tim. He’s a terrific player and a lovely geezer even if on the day he looked like a Malteser.
Now there’s a bloke called John with jobs a thrice he’s currently the seniors willing vice. He’s also the Clubs Honorary Sec and a place on the Committee completes the deck.
The winner of the singles had opponents bowin’, the deadly assassin was Ian McGowan. The Men’s pairs went back to Phil and Neil. The mixed was Viv & Tim with their nerves of steel.
Inside we said goodbye to Kevin & James for about a month and then back they came. Lads, forget the hiding or having a rest you’re surrounded by a group that are the best.
We also have the Steve’s of Cookson & Green, when you’re grafting away your seldom seen, we’re grateful for your efforts and all you do. Don’t let the occasional critic leave you feeling blue.
So, on to our benefactor a man so Wise, it’s fair to say the Club he does subsidise. Our endless moaning brings joy to his heart, joking aside, thank you for your financial part.
There’s too many more to turn to rhyme and I am very near to the end of my time. So, it’s time to turn our Captain’s new. Here’s Karen & Adrian right on cue.
What can I say they’re a formidable pair and Adrian’s also got assets he’d like to share. Karen will give the ladies both passion & drive, there’s no question she’s a wire that’s totally live.
Adrian’s Mr. Nice Guy who’s hard not to love. I’m sure he’s arrived from heaven above, ok he may have dodgy taste in his football team but he’s certainly high in my personal esteem.
To Karen and Adrian, I wish you well, I’m sure in a year there will be tales to tell.
There’s a lot of hard work to the captain’s role and I'm sure at times it’ll take its toll, in Alan & Pauline you have the support you need. We thank you in advance for each caring deed. This could go on and just drift and drift, so instead may I offer Adrian my humble gift. Now it’s over to you lot please glasses raise as we toast our Captains for many happy days.
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